i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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