Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
