I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm jealous of your bromance
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Randomize