I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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