You're my little dorito
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
