Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
