I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
