Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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