i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
