Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
