he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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