I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
