tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
