if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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