How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize