You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
