You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
