i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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