12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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