Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
