Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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