ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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