tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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