Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
they're like a gay fantastic four
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize