the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
