Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
