You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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