remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
