Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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