i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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