whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
