i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
