Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
