her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
