Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
