wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
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I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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