I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
