i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize