ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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