Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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