Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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