My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize