i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
