are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
