Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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