Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
