I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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