feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There r osticjed everywhere
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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