You're so nebulous sometimes
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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