I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
