My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
