We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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