I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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