I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
