she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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