Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
