Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize