You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
