i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
