I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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