Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
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But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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