Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
