I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
