So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Barsexuality is the new black.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
