the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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