i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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