Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
